Tuesday, February 1, 2011

My First Boyfriend: Totally Hair Ken

I thought it was time to stop hiding my first boyfriend from the world and finally make a formal introduction.  We met in early 1991 at the KB Toys at the Stonewood shopping center.  From the moment we locked eyes through the store window we both knew it was going to be something special...it was a brief but intense relationship.  His name was Totally Hair Ken...and we happened to bump into each other this afternoon in my attic of all places.

Dreamy isn't he?


He was the best boyfriend a girl could ask for in the early 90s.  He was a snazzy dresser, had a rich luxurious head of hair, was constantly in a good mood and most importantly he came with his own tube of Dep hair gel.

Holds your bangs in place 72 hours straight!

But sadly, like most intensely passionate relationships it burned out quickly.  He had job offers to male model the latest early 90s coifs and work as a stand-in on "21 Jumpstreet" and "Beverly Hills 90210" and I of course had to focus on my times tables and phonics workbook.  But those weren't the only things coming between us...there were the other women...

Look at all of these morally questionable women!

He had pictures of all of his old girlfriends and I will admit I was dealing with some self-esteem issues...mostly relating to my recent growing pains...

Ken had a perfect smile...it was a lot to live up to.

But what really pushed us apart was his growing ego.  Just a little bit of fame quickly went to his head.  My first clue was his choice to start just going by one name like "Cher" or "Madonna"...and emblazoning it on his belt...

This was just too much...it drove me away.

In the end we parted amicably and he I offered to let him live in my attic and gave him a pretty sweet deal on a lease...

Ken in his one bedroom

Anyway, the cat is out of the bag.  Totally Hair Ken and I were an item...and I still think back on him fondly.  

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