Sunday, February 20, 2011

Living With Middle Class Excellence!

Today I am starting a new topic on the blog and I am calling it "Living With Excellence".  Why?  Because if Martha Stewart gets to tell people how she enjoys "Living" and Oprah gets to tell people what their "Favorite Things" should be (and who to vote for) and Gwyneth Paltrow can command you to, "Make...Go...Get...Do...Be...and See" then by golly I want in on the action.  Okay, so maybe I don't have a hundred acres of organic farmland or a 5,000 square foot Cape Cod colonial or a palatial estate in Santa Barbara or a personal trainer and private chef who keeps me doing four hours of yoga and eating a macrobiotic diet daily but I do know how live a middle class existence with excellence...

So join me as I share with you some of my tips for living with excellence.  Feel free to take notes...

Our first lesson will be focused on how to enjoy the most American of pleasures...the Daytona 500 with a killer cup of coffee.  Now for those who are not familiar (and you should be ashamed of yourselves if you fall into this category) the Daytona 500 is simply the greatest American sporting event of the year.  It is 43 cars, each rocking over 700 horsepower, battling it out for 500 miles on a giant asphalt oval in Daytona Beach, Florida.  It brings together all that is truly American...obscene petrochemical consumption, corporate sponsorship, bad grammar, a giant lawn, road rage, and broadcasts it in HD to a flat screen near you.



Today, I am proud to say that I am thoroughly enjoying hanging out in my pajamas, with my dog sleeping in my lap, watching the ballet that is NASCAR play out on my Samsung 50 inch in surround sound.  God Bless America.  Of course this whole experience would not be complete without a good cup of joe...so for my first lesson in "Living With Excellence" I will show you how I make a Café Whitnyano.

Now before get I started let me explain the impetus for this blog post.  In no way do I think I have any qualifications on any level to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't like or how to live.  I pretty much just absent-mindedly stumble through life making a series of really bad decisions.  But I do feel like I need to in some way balance out all of the "good" advise that is dispensed in fashion, fitness and lifestyle magazines with my own questionable advise.  So anyway, back to why I decided to write this post...

I was in line at the grocery store a couple of days ago and was flipping through the latest issue of a fitness magazine and the Hollywood starlet on the cover was telling the interviewer that she was committed to fitness and leading a totally balanced life and her commitment came in the form of oatmeal and egg whites every morning for breakfast, steamed yams for a mid-morning snack, a quinoa salad for lunch, broiled salmon and brown rice for dinner and then a piece of dark chocolate for desert.  Further, she kept balance in her life by spending quality time with her super hot, multi-millionaire, MLB shortstop  boyfriend and working out with her personal trainer two hours a day.  Gosh...why can't we all find that balance?

So how do I keep my girlish figure and find balance...just like I said earlier...by watching NASCAR in my pjs and whipping up a Café Whitnyano.  And here's how I do it.  Prepare to get your insulin injections ready.

STEP 1:

Brew a pot of coffee.

I use a hand-me-down Cuisinart 10
Cup Grind and Brew Drip Machine
courtesy of my cousin Matt and his
wife Kirsten...who thinks I have horrible
taste in coffee.


STEP 2:

Find a mug that makes you happy.


I choose to use a vintage 1950s Jadite diner mug...just don't
put it in the microwave!


STEP 3:

Grab a can of Dulce de Leche.
You can usually find a can of Nestle brand Dulce de Leche
on the international foods aisle at your local grocery store
retailing for about $2.00

STEP 4:

Smear the inside of your mug with Dulce de Leche.

I'm using a spoon here but a spatula is far more effective at
evenly distributing the deliciousness.

STEP 5:

Pour in your delicious freshly brewed coffee.

I only fill the mug about 2/3 of the way with coffee.


STEP 6:

Go for broke...get yourself some heavy cream.
What?  Life is short and I like a little junk in the trunk.

STEP 7:

Mix it all together!

Admire that deliciousness!


Now at this point you can simply drink and enjoy...but if you want to take it a step further you can add that most American of breakfast side dishes...the doughnut.  


I personally like to compliment the Café Whitnyano with an Entenmann's chocolate and yellow cake doughnut.

Or if you want to class it up a little you can add a biscotti or two.

Or for an even greater touch of class you actually take the biscotti out of  the plastic wrap.



Finally, enjoy!
And please forgive my gross morning face.



So there you have...my first installment of "Living With Excellence" where I show you how to use white trash sensibilities and a middle class spending power to live life to the fullest!  

4 comments:

Karen said...

Give me an insulin drip after that! Eeesh! My teeth hurt from thinking about all that sugar! LOL!

Whitny said...

Do you want to know what the worst part is? I forgot to mention the part where you add sugar in the raw.

kcy said...

Yeah, I felt your post desugared the actual recipe! Love the closing sentence of this posting!

Whitny said...

Well I figured not everyone could handle quite as much sugar as I do. So I toned it down a bit.