Tuesday, November 9, 2010

High School Corsages: A Time Capsule

I am preparing to throw the biggest garage sale in the history of the universe in a week and in my preparation for said sale today I came across a pile of dusty old dried flowers in the corner of a cabinet.  Upon closer inspection the dusty pile proved to be my corsages from high school formal events.  You see boys and girls, in days of yore, awkward teenage boys would bring a bracelet made of flowers featuring over the top explosions of curling ribbons and glitter as a token of good faith to the young ladies who had agreed to accompany them to the ball.  And in the high school kingdom I inhabited  the more impressive the display of flowers a young lad brought you...the more interested the boy was...or his mom had really good taste, or that he was gay...or his mom was also a florist.  Okay, maybe it didn't mean anything at all.  But here for your reading enjoyment is a pictorial retrospective of my corsages, then and now...


Christmas Banquet, Sophomore Year
The Withered Remains of The Corsage of Christmas Past
Me and my date Tommy and the FABULOUS orchid corsage Tommy so thoughtfully picked out. 

Christmas Banquet, Junior Year

Here is what is left of my corsage from my date Ryan...it was much larger and more beautiful until I closed it in the car door of my Mom's Thunderbird on the way home from the Golf Club the banquet was held at.  
Here is the corsage when it was in full bloom...and my date Ryan had the posture of a ballroom dancer or a presidential candidate.  I somehow managed to make myself look like a twelve year old boy in an evening gown that night...and now because of this picture and the certain scandal it would cause Ryan can never run for public office.

Junior-Senior Banquet, Junior Year

The mummified mass of roses and ribbons that was my prom corsage junior year.
Here is the corsage on the day it was made and my date Richard rocking a stare into the camera that would make Richard Grieco jealous.  May I just say that someone should have attacked me with a straight iron or a curling iron before I left the house that day.

Christmas Banquet, Senior Year

This gold and glitter explosion popped against my black velvet and faux fur trimmed dress.   I thought I was channeling Julie Christie in Dr. Zhivago (the dress even had a muff)...but in retrospect I think I was channeling the Talbots Catalogue circa late nineties.

All I can say is that this hair style was a crime...by the spring of that school year I would learn to use hair spray.


Last but not least...Junior-Senior Banquet, Senior Year

The completely pathetic remains of the once majestic senior banquet bouquet...these corsages are beginning to feel like a metaphor for my life, or rather my figure post high school.

The one and only time in my life I will get to wear a giant candy apple red ball gown.

Now since I need to make space (mama needs a redecorated house and a place to do aerobics)...I decided to ceremoniously burn these floral reminders of my past.  Just like the ancients honored their dead by lighting a funeral pyre beneath them so too did I honor my memories of high school by placing them atop last year's yule log in my fireplace and taking a Zippo to them...

Placed upon the pyre...
The Flame Touches the Offering...
Purified by flames...
This is super melodramatic and I am a huge dork...



3 comments:

Ryan DeRamos said...

Good times. :-)

chastity said...

haha omg! I cant believe you still have these! I think I have my wedding bouquet around somewhere, but psshh those corsages are potpourri in a dump somewhere.

Whitny said...

Well those corsages are now just ash in the fireplace...but their memory lives on in this blog...